We worked opposite shifts, and I also maintained the household. So much that I stopped asking for his help around the house and relied on my mother and family. I laid into him with a pretty scathing response, which he ignored. Feel sorry for her that she will get to know soon enough who she’s really with. I wouldn’t wish a narc on anyone but, although now is too painful to see, in time it does make you much stronger and wiser. You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out and I’m so proud of and inspired by the self care, proactive attitude, love and grace that you have emanated and portrayed despite the f tard and the subsequent heartbreak. We had a lot of rough times, and there were a lot of issues with him crossing lines sending pics texting talking to hanging out with other women, and lying. He texted to tell me after I had implemented strict no contact following his text that he was seeing someone new. NO! So while I was home going through the worst time of my life he was courting a new woman. I love and believe in you. This is the most powerful writing i have ever read. He told her I was crazy she blocked me and she’s stayed with him. XOXO. I was with him for 2 years have been liking him through middle and high school and he left me for some girl who is older then me by 6 YEARS. Psychological Tactics To Get Your Ex Back, Lockdown Finally Ended My Relationship With My Gaslighting Boyfriend, Data Shows Marriage is More Beneficial for Men, The core disagreements every couple deals with, To Survive Your Open Relationship, Learn to Be a Little Needy. So let’s get into my 3 killer secrets! I just found out my ex is seeing a girl he slept with about two weeks after we broke up again. xx, Hey Nicole, just read your post and I know how you feel, same situation as with my ex, he’s going all out to change his ways and be a better man in his new relationship, he’s learnt from his mistakes and now knows how to make it work with his new gf (if he truly wants to) that’s why you met him, people come into your life for a reason, your taught him how to treat a real woman, (he taught you to raise your standards and never let a man make you feel unworthy as YOU deserve better than him and you will only find a better man who truly loves and will never leave (as in my case too) I always keep in the back of my mind that leopards NEVER change their spots lol They are truly selfish and WILL always go back to their true core (once he is comfortable again), This one of truest articles ever written! I just want to give everything that I wish I had <3. We fought, broke up, he reappeared in my life after his 2 rebound relationships failed (claiming things will be different), he never really gave me a sincere apology for his/kids/extended family’s behavior, he brought emotional baggage from his 2 rebounds as he crossed his moral and emotional grounds with how he used them, and allowed his kids and extended family continue their bull poop. I feel like I’m a bit happier and stronger now compared to who I was before. We were inseparable. Some day you will be happy again. You can’t help but KNOW that this time, he’s changed and it’s for real. Now, he is working on himself and I feel like he is going to look fantastic! You are loved, supported, backed, believed in and understood. Get Natasha’s 7 life-changing & Essential Boundaries straight to your inbox. We live and work together so this has been extremely difficult to deal with . Things were different and I could tell. He is the same guy. One of my friends reminded me that he has repeated this pattern 3 times now including leaving his wife and children when they were toddlers because ‘they didn’t get on’ (and they are the occasions I know about, there could be more). Decent people that are capable of mutual love and respect do not just save all of their bad behavior for you. It’s totally okay to feel relieved, happy, elated, celebratory…ANYTHING. Then when your ex finally comes back as you’ve followed the two principles above he’ll see that you’ve changed as a person and there be no reason not to get back together. After a whole month of “trying”, we had a misunderstanding and he ran, again. He didn’t come see in the hospital or during my 6 week recovery at home. And never asked again. Sharing is caring 65 Of the most common searches that lead people to Let Me Reach, a large percentage consist of female readers wondering about the male Narcissist’s Ex-wife or his new girlfriend. There came a moment when on my birthday the cruel treatments and silent treatments made me question whether life was even worth anything. I couldn’t believe after promising he would never have contact with her again, her being so cruel and mean, and he knows it, went back to her. She looked confident, happy, perfect makeup and the way he looks at her is like she is the ultimate prize. I’m far from perfect & know I made mistakes but I’m human. She is simple and plain (he downgraded). Thank you for being a part of this tribe and THANK YOU for being YOU. He had been cheating the whole time with a woman who knew about me. Come to find out he was seeing someone new. I found his new gf on social media and she’s always posting pictures of both of them (which I will admit they do look very happy and is very beautiful), gifts he buys her, their dinner plates, when he plays his guitar for her, etc, etc. But part of me still gets that uneasy feeling that the idiot is getting everything with his new girl. Copyright © 2020 All Rights Reserved. His job meant he worked away so for the first 4 years we were married I saw very little of him. Because I know that his entitled, drunk driving, two-faced fraud, angry troll, controlling self is not any different, she just hasn’t seen it yet. I am trying every day to forget about him and some days are easier than others. A huge thank you from me over in the UK. I wish that I could hug and high-5 you at the same time Thanks LA! There is no way in hell he has changed. YOU took action and YOU continued to read these posts, written with all the love in my heart, amid soul-shattering pain. And, I want to know how you got over all this. It never lasted for 3 months before he came crying back for me. I was a student when I met him. How perfect for him the new girl has an apartment in NY and a parking space for his car. XOXO. He swore he was. Thank you. Fast forward a few years later, I ran into him and his new gf of 3 months. Our relationship was all about what I could do for him. I worked during the day and he was off during the day, yet I still had to cook, clean, do homework with my child, grocery shop etc. I wish that I had the time to respond and elaborate further <3 Just keep coming back here to the blog and know that you are loved, understood, valued, supported, backed, believed in and never, EVER alone <3 xx. They use everyone! We lived 2 hours apart so I couldn’t just show up at his house, nor did I want to do something like that. No hon – you were more than good enough. If you feel that a mistake has been made, and you genuinely feel that you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, then you have every right to fight for your love, even if he has a new girlfriend. xoxo, Im just going through this situation. Seeing them on social media broke me but I look at his pictures and still see the same shitty guy. I feel you sister – on every level. We sat down and had a whole talk about our relationship and his issues. I shouldn’t have, but I did. The pain is real and is there, but I realized that I had to pull it from the core and rise above them. I am grateful for this break up which ended my misery of being lied to, being blamed for the bad behavior of him, for making me feel as if I were not good enough for him whereas he was never been good enough for me. Keep coming back here to the blog. He made me feel and said I was nothing to him…I just will never understand why he would treat someone the way he did me. I never got a apology rather was just told I was too controlling. I’m not going to stop there because I know that’s not enough. And if you could not run because you thought they would change (this is called the fear of missing out, missing out a chance for being happy with this man) and in the end they left you don’t be sad. Ugh, I have a lot of thoughts. Do I want be with a man who falls in love after 3 weeks? Come to find out he was already seeing the new girl. They never change!!!!! I begged this man for a getaway, for date nights and he always made up excuses. Is he honest, accountable, loyal, empathetic, and loving to her? Throughout our relationship he asked me to marry him and gave me a ring… then said that he didn’t know why he gave me a ring, he thought it was the right thing to do. I’d flip my shit and drive to his job and get wild. I am so happy for and proud of you. He said he was sorry but ran into an old college friend THE DAY AFTER our dinner and she had also just gone through a divorce so they spent the whole day talking and just instantly clicked. After my ex broke up with me because he ‘wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship, but if he did it would be with me’, I have held a torch for him for (this is embarrassing) almost a year. I don’t even know his ex, but she’s worth more than that, too. You need to turn inward and work on yourself. He never came back and barely talked to me or his daughter for 7 months. We were living together but lived separate lives. I was with my now Ex husband for 18 years. Then a few weeks later he has someone new. Helpful to read others experience. Or was there more that I could have done to have been “accepted”? Our break up was 7 months ago and the girl is exactly 7 months pregnant. they moved in together after 6 months and adopted a pet together. This was November. and they said I love you to one another. I keep asking myself why he chose her and not me. It is him and nothing you do can change him unless he wants to change himself. im hurt and heartbroken.She is ten years younger than him. Trust me when I say – he hasn’t and will not change. Yet he has this girl who he spends majority of his time with. I was with him for 5.5 years, how did he move on so quickly, and even more devastating how is he able to cut me off completely ( he changed his number and blocked me on Facebook ) in a matter of weeks and jump into a potential marriage? Love you! She’s a definite upgrade from me and it makes me feel worthless. Don’t give me wrong, if it was a few years back Leo DiCaprio was interested in me and he was a total jerk and I could tell that he would only be with me if I was more like him, I probably would just ignore how he was and try to morph into whatever he wanted me to be. I left mine. Yeah, I have him crap about it and i, to him, was to blame for not letting crap go and holding on and bringing it up after the fact, mostly when it would happen again. Add on his extended family always found something ‘wrong’ with something I said or did and would complain to him. Yet he treated me the most callously in the end. Every other day was an hour long fight about something I did wrong, no matter how small. However, this man was the first one who seemed to truly care about me (at least for the first half of the rel.) My two children seem to love the new girlfriend. Thank you sooo much for this post! The beginning was amazing as always and then it all took a bad turn, emotional abuse, flirting with other women, texting his exes, all of it! We were also each others longest relationship. You’re not alone. HELP! But. thank you so much for your post. Meanwhile, I know I have problems due to the BPD that I am seeking treatment to change. I wouldn’t have lasted a week. There's just one problem. Thank you so much beautiful <3, It wasn't you. First of all, don’t listen to people who carelessly slam you with the whole “why-do-you-even-care” bit. Always! Anyway. I also have feared that my ex learned from his mistakes with me, and that will be an advantage for the new girl. Liv!!! But I am failing at University, I Keep breaking down and avoiding to write my Bachelor Thesis. Thank you so much for this post. It’s been 5months and it’s been tough for me. He was completely emotionally abusive during our 3 year relationship, and I’m happily in a new relationship for almost 10 months now. I feel so lost – its been over a year since we broke up and I left because he treated me so badly – it was a mixture of heaven and hell our relationship but only because as Natasha so clearly points out its like being in an emotional desert and then they do something good and its so few and far between the good bits that you idolise it all. Thank you soo much for this post i will keep referring to this everytime the devil wants to mess with me. Bad. Two weeks after that, he came back begging and crying to give us another try. Well well well, come to find out he’d actually met someone else. Hi Natasha ?? You are supported, loved, understood and believe in. Hope you feel better soon. So carefully orchestrated and always mentioning how many likes it got and how he wanted to post stuff to let her know he was back with his family and she was so crazy obsessed. I start each morning with an article from you,it literally became my bible. We talked a few more times and he said he wanted to drive up to my town so that we could have a face to face talk. You get angry that she can’t see the real him…. My ex of 14yrs left me. If you’ve just broken up and want to get back with an ex boyfriend you must know these 3 killer strategies as they are a surefire way to get back and keep your ex boyfriend. I know that I am so much better off, now I just have to believe it. it sucks because i felt like this summer break i was gonna prove to her that im the best thing for her, but she had already been moving on emotionally during the last few months of our relationship. Sorry about the long post. I split with my royal crown double diamond encrusted mind f**k ex 2 and a half years ago. I was stalking their common happy life and their trips abroad, adventures and comments how people complimated them for being so such a good couple. Remember: True love is not comprised of anything this guy did, is, or can offer. But when I feel those icky, crawling feelings start to emgere, I know just the comfort I can run to stop those ruminating and devaluing feelings. Just get back on your white horse if you get off and know that you are loved, suppported, backed, believed in and understood. It’s his loss. Get Natasha’s 7 life-changing & Essential Boundaries straight to your inbox. You need to implement some boundaries. So happy that the post helped! I helped him pack. I didnt follow thru with it because hes used me so many times for sex and fed me all that “love of his life bullshit”. Pain contractions are normal. I keep thinking he’s going to be the amazing man I knew during the first few months with her and she will get the best of him. He always refused to post photos of us because he wanted to be private. He and I met in the African Student Union (ASU) so she’s into all this spiritual African religious stuff that I can’t get into (something he tried to turn me into). You’re not alone xoxo. However, I feel like in order for that to happen then I have to believe people don’t change and my going to treatment will be a waste. Thank you for helping them have the courage to, like you, have their own back and say “enough!” with their dignified actions. It was always, “I’m so sorry I hurt a good person, but I love her and we are staying together…” blah blah blah! Then a day after our “anniversary”, I messaged him randomly saying I just remembered you where my friend and I watched a movie. xo. Yes, I still have hurt. The one who lied to you over and over and OVER. The ex who won't be badgered into saying outright 'I don't still love you' either doesn't want to hurt you or doesn't want to completely close the door. Sometimes dating someone new and having fun is just what it takes for your ex to realize what he’s lost and come back to you. How were you able to heal from your situation ? Coming back home each time. You and your partner just broke up and right now all you can think about is getting them back. The worst part is, I know exactly he is a womanizer who will never be satisfied with the Attention of one woman only. Is she the exception? Thanks for being a part of this tribe. We all are survivors and we all have each other <3 Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for being the angel that you are too xxxx. i don’t have him he blocked me but sometimes friends tell me.. he said it to me months before the breakup how bad is this girl i don’t believe he end up dating her after 6 months still hurt lil bit but honestly i’m so much better without him for 3 years he lied to me about everything and cheated on me and i forgave him just because his sweet words i sometimes now think he didn’t even love me and it was all lie even if i was his really longest relationship he cared a lot about me but didn’t stop lying !! Thank you for being a part of this tribe and for being all that you are. A confused, asshole, little boy who is scared. He has someone else and so do I, but I still torture myself, that I was not good enough that he’s being g the perfect man with her. Few days later he said he’ll always have romantic feelings for me but we’re “just friends.” Now he’s already treating this new girl that looks the opposite of me like a queen and posting nonstop PDA pictures on the “only social media his friends and family can see.” I’m devastated and couldn’t stop comparing myself to her. He is flashing his new life all over social media like this is the best thing. I committed the ultimate sin & became the booty call because I was doing anything I could to stay relevant. I hope that one day, he’ll be blindsided by a faint memory of me, and realize I was the one who got away, but regardless I have me and my white horse for life. We then had contact again, which was nice for a while, being able to talk again and talk about small things from the past, and you get lost in it all for few minutes or less, but then you realise nothing has changed…. He is now in another new relationship, and as much as it hurts I really do hope he is happy. We’ve been broken up a yr and a half now. I asked him what his plans for marriage and he always gave me excuses. WHY? After 2 years, we were engaged and pregnant. xx, Okay I need to share this with you all, coz I am bursting at the seams.You were so RIGHT…my EMOTIONALLY-UNAVAILABLE EX finally broke up with the girl that he has been dating for almost the last 5 months, longest he has been in since the last one which was a year and a half long…It really looked like it was going somewhere..he met her parents and everything..she met his children and they used to post pictures of them together at different locales, FAMILY-LOOKING PICTURES, ANXIETY INDUCING, heartbreaking pictures which made me relive my hurt… She looked like his type…pretty in a mature, laidback, nice girl kind of way, the kind he would wife up…His dad and mom were commenting on their couple pics…Her family were his friends on FB…It was going somewhere for sure..till this weekend and suddenly no pics…she has deactivated her own profile..I think he has devastated her and I have conflicting feelings…A part of me is relieved to know that it wasn’t me, it was him all along, all these two years that I have known him…and another part of me understands what she is going through and how much she must be hurting…The honeymoon phase was obviously intense and beautiful for them as their FB pics together showed, they were vacationing together in her hometown…So the end must have been equally or more painful…All their couple pics are off her instagram…I know I shouldn’t be relieved but I am and then there are moments where I feel bad for resenting and hating her for having the life I wanted to have…Yes, Im still in FB /IG stalk mode but that was how much he future faked with me, as I am sure he did with her…. After seven years in a relationship my ex cheated, left me and move in to the house I helped him buy with the woman he cheated on me with. You write so well and you’re so so sarcastic – LOVE IT! He is still the same guy. He did grieve for about a year after I left but still was texting me up to last yr when he was with her. This article needs to be given to every woman! I did a lot to save his life and pick him off the street when he needed a place . All my love to you! He committed all his time to his son and football. He made me feel ugly and I’m not everyone e tellse I’m gorgeous (that is embarrassing to write lol) bit I don’t see it myself. My friends told me not to trust him because that was probably the only reason he was feeling sorry now. When he hurt me with his behavior he never excused himself for doing so. We did things together like a family. Hi Meredith! I do not even have FB haven’t had it for years since even before I met him. Could he have ACTUALLY changed into a caring one woman man whom he loves – or is it : just a pic – a snapshot of a moment – which says nothing really or is saying actually quite a lot – whatever way you look at it. He seemed so proud to be with her and they looked happy together. That he’s happier? It’s hard to imagine that anyone will make me feel like he did, but even if I don’t find that again, this helped me realize that it came at too high a cost. They moved really fast, and are going to be engaged. I’d like to think he is full of crap and will break her heart too. Listen to Natasha .. cause she is right xxxx. You have to ask yourself in the end if you ever take this person back after all the times he disrespected and devalued you.. in my case, I had the option to a few months ago.. he came back to me claiming he had changed, and he might have been telling me the truth.. but I have enough self love and respect for myself to know when I deserve better. It couldn’t be any worse even though it was me who dumped him I just couldn’t get over all that happiness and romance they are proudly share everywhere But deep down I somehow feel it is her NOW who has to deal with all his bullshits, his porn addict, sex addict and all those fucking female friends. Then I thought about what I went through. and who wanted to know me on a deeper level. You are so right, it’s their true core and they will never change! That blew my mind. I was hurt, but accepted it. All my love to you sister. I mean there really must be wrong with me of I couldn’t make him feel anything but another woman can? One of my best getting an ex boyfriend back tips that I could ever give you is to change something about yourself. You’re not alone Millie <3 x, I am so lost, my ex and I broke up beginning of December and literally two weeks after that he told me he was seeing someone new and that they already had sex. I’ve gone through the same thing too and it sucks. when we married he was 220. But I read your posts every day and it always seems to help me. Although I could understand this I felt like he pulled me close and then sucked me emotionally dry and then dropped me for the next girl bc she didn’t challenge him to get off drugs and was happy being on an emotional ferris wheel .Anyways I made the stupid mistake of browsing her Facebook page yesterday and found pictures of them eating frozen yogurt together all happy and their names intertwined with hearts made out wire and I just went back to an emotional pit of hell thinking how much better he was and happier he was with her . Left for a month and wanted to come home. Rise above know your worth and never say what does she have that I font. Very rocky but i was always loyal and stayed true to him because i loved him way too much. Which means that when I started dating this f*cktard, his former girl suffered watching him sending the same gifts to me!!! I know how you feel. People communicate who they are from the get-go. It all happened within 3 weeks of him blocking and cutting me off from his life! Natasha Adamo, LLC. During the relationship he lied to me constantly. And FLUSH... SO.CAN.YOU you and making it right perfect smth I am that. I bore him and deactivated my Facebook and am does my ex really love his new girlfriend social media broke me but I ’. Essential Boundaries straight to your inbox apologizing for not saying sorry for doing the thing that hurts remained in the! Remember we had a misunderstanding and he jumped right into the relationship when we don ’ t contacting!. To show off for anyone lbs and looked amazing affirmation now help, but had to ve the. Confused bundle of nerves same guy sorry for her cause she is simple and plain ( he goes. 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