And I’m high on shrooms and have this big ass idea of what grapes actually taste like but I don’t know for certain. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Megathread I found myself laughing from the first word of his most recent post, just because I knew what was approaching. I really hope someone reads this and knows what I'm talking about and can find it. 31.5m members in the AskReddit community. I played I only learned this year that ponies aren't just baby horses. Now here's where things start to get interesting. If OP's family was Irish, the top comments suggestion would be hillarious. and join one of thousands of communities. Picture of veiny cock, right in the comment section. He had a custom tooled weight belt, had his initials engraved on it and everything, apparently it was a present or something. Anyway, I would likely get disciplined for that, but I would continue to do it at any opportunity. EDIT: Added title and context, instead of just the link. I mentioned how surprised I was that they shipped Shamu all the way across the country just to make appearances here. Yet, every night she slept in one. Tell me you love me! Honestly? I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. [–]echisholm 223 points224 points225 points 5 years ago (6 children). The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston's defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. So one day my grandfather is coming up the stairs with one of the aforementioned marines, and someone rides the dolly right in front of him like a scooter, almost hitting the officer on the way past; to this day he swears that officer was smiling just before he flagged the guy down, [–]baardvark 113 points114 points115 points 5 years ago (2 children). And the horror that followed. The ones made for smokers back in the day. Hiring PHP developers does not contribute to the quota of employees with disabilities. Because that is definitely how I would respond, "Yep, Francis Bacon, I totally get it", [–][deleted] 70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago (3 children). He freaked out and used up 30 minutes diving gas in about 5. Since i was distracted by some amazing fractals on the ceiling she rode me like a bucking bronco for the better part of an hour to prove she could make me cum. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest. [–]3hirdEyE 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (4 children). That was classic. Do you have a link? My buddy ended up having "the best fucking time ever bro" but jesus there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning. Let’s have a look at some of the amazing funny stories of all … 8 Hilarious Recruiting Stories from Reddit that Will Leave You Speechless. The top ones aren't the best, but the lower responses are hilarious. [–]5p33di3 315 points316 points317 points 5 years ago (11 children). After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. [–]Isares 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child), Holy shit I've heard Roy Kelly narrate this but I've never seen it irl. He didn't have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. [–]loics 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (1 child), [–]BlackfishBlues 254 points255 points256 points 5 years ago* (13 children). Distracted by the bride's, erm, assets, Barbdwyer22 spaced out during a very important part of the ceremony: the part when you're supposed to say \"I do.\" \"They had to yell my name a few times before I snapped out of … Not allowed to redirect management's calls to a VoIP system that puts them on indefinite hold with a message saying their call is important. Weeks.". He asks me “wha? [–]mashington14 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]itsmebiscuits 41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (10 children), [–]codman606 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (6 children). Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. He yells out to this douche bag to call his dog off because it is upsetting his monkey. Starting to make a name for myself now. Second, he realizes Beast's head is about a month's worth of egg-money. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. People who haven't read this, do it now. However, some folks on Reddit have differing views on their biggest films. I should not use the phrase "as to not enrage management" in a team email when dictating corrective action on an issue. Link broken, this one works. What actor/actress was completely 100% wrong for the role? You ever wonder, if like, all of those dreams where you are lost in school and can't find your homework are actually happening? The title may contain two, short, necessary context sentences. By any chance have a link to it? We found some of the best, worst and most cringe-tastic sex stories on Reddit. But I have to nominate it, since it makes me laugh even harder than 20th Century Fox plastic flute ketchup robot. I've seen a lot of wrongfully gilded posts on reddit, but this was not one of them. Add to library 2 Discussion. The pineapple greentext. "Do you suffer from a learning disability?" It doesn't matter how big and empty the parking lot is, doing donuts is not allowed. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. save. And if you're looking for cheats in Final Fantasy or secrets about Skyrim, go ahead and jog on. Regardless of how many times her new mommy and daddy put her in bed, she would always go back to the closet. Bravo. [–]naughtydreams 56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (1 child), [–]JWson 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children). I can only find it in an unrelated thread now ( https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2q3g4c/i_woke_up_and_opened_my_computer_to_this_courtesy/ ). He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it. Imagine about fifteen or so guys up in a nest with thousands of dollars in high tech nvg equipment at two in the morning, watching some spanish ladies swim in the nude; now imagine you are an officer, and you notice about fifteen or so guys up in a nest with thousands of dollars in high tech nvg equipment at two in the morning. Feels gud. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. I fucking love that guy. If they found ancient human skeletal remains on mars , what would your first theory be? If I was them I would have just deleted my post and cut my losses. Well, the driver finally rolls down the regular window and out leaps all kinds of miniature primate hell. But it was a pretty long story spread out across many many ask Reddit threads. My rectum started engineering a WMD and I was trying my best to keep it in the chamber, as I did not want to declare war and offend the neighboring passengers. Im in a silent room surrounded by people and i had to read it in segments because I was laughing too hard. ", [–]Mr_Barry_Shitpeas 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children), [–]Vicckkky 106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago* (7 children), [–]The_Legend_of_Jaelon 161 points162 points163 points 5 years ago* (20 children). I have tried to find the link to this for ages, so if you know it, or can find it, I would be forever grateful. Responding only in memes and youtube clips of movies is not an effective means of communication with management. [–]Cracked_Sucks 64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago* (3 children). I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Yeah, I totally thought it was a really stupid game of chance. What do I do? The way it just strips the subtext away to its honest core is so sublime and hilarious to me. Because you have to admit, the man had a valid point. But great leader invented digital technology when he, in his magnanimous action, invented both the 1 and the 0. --- 3000 LIKES AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES! [–]the_seed 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children). Which movie is the biggest waste of potential? Reverse engineering the encoding in a closed source messaging protocol an employee uses for non-business related communications and posting the study with the live data is in poor taste. This one, about a private who spilled his Skittles and was ordered to sort, count, plant, and water his Skittles in order to grow a rainbow, had me in stitches. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv, [–]SixCrazyMexicans 159 points160 points161 points 5 years ago (0 children), I remembered the story after the first sentence but kept reading. What's your craziest thing you have ever seen in public? I mean this dog is running so fuckin hard he's throwing up tufts of grass and dirt as soon as he leaves pavement. more >>, Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning. Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is. [–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (2 children). Unfortunately, my stomach started bubbling and a munitions factory started up. edit: moved NSFW warning (sorry 'bout that, /u/thekey147). User ConradSchu's new bride had a rough night of it: After coming down with the flu, she threw up at the reception, medicated herself with NyQuil and ended up passing out. [–]bada-dada 145 points146 points147 points 5 years ago (8 children). Original Stories. [–]thekey147 72 points73 points74 points 5 years ago (5 children). After I had sufficiently dropped enough of the payload to ensure that it wouldn't follow me too much, I left to go closer towards the middle of the train. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. Bringing in Sun-Tzu tipped me over the edge. r/funny: Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. [–]jtotheofo 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children). Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. Category: Funny Stories “Hello! out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually. Don't leave a 110v plug wired to an RJ-45 jack lying around for someone to find. [–]secondlamp 96 points97 points98 points 5 years ago (3 children), [–]disasterlooms 128 points129 points130 points 5 years ago (2 children). As a man that has reached the ripe old age of 48 I can promise you I have seen some shit go down. card classic compact. Thank you, [–]hj1210 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (3 children). Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The comment deserved every single one of them. You'd probably need to jam a straw in their urethra and then blow air in there. 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